


auf wiederhesen

by kalkiesoo



Series: you? outrun me? [2]
Category: VALORANT (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Child Abandonment, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Killjoy (VALORANT) has Abandonment Issues, Kingdom Metaphors, One Shot, Paranoia, Separation Anxiety, Swearing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, protect killjoy at all costs please, wow this got dark quick, you? outrun me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27190939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalkiesoo/pseuds/kalkiesoo
Summary: her memories are filled with farewells, with goodbyes, with-auf wiederhesen, kleine prinzessin. and never turning back.or killjoy and farewells, through the years.
Relationships: Killjoy & Brimstone (VALORANT)
Series: you? outrun me? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983502
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	auf wiederhesen

# A U F  
W I E D E R H E S E N

_❝goodbye is the most painful way to solve a problem.❞_

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

**HANNOVER // GERMANY // 2038**

She was eight years old and it was supposed to be just another normal day.

Before becoming Killjoy, before joining Valorant, before Kingdom- She was just Adelaide Vogel, a child prodigy born into one of Germany's most noble families.

She was an only child, which meant she got everything she ever wanted and was treated like a princess.

 _Kleine prinzessin_ , her father's employees would call her, little princess.

Despite all that, she was lonely, she didn't have too many friends, so she always cherished what few she had.

One of her closest friends was a radiant girl named Louise, two years older than she was. Her ability had been connected to teleportation, and it always amused Adelaide to watch Louise teleport around.

"Heidi!" Louise would call out, "Watch this!", She would then teleport to an unreachable and obscure location and scare people.

It was supposed to be a normal day at school, she didn't know why it had gone wrong.

"My maman said that we'd be going back to France tomorrow." Louise had said.

"Why?"

Louise shrugged, "Maman said that we would be going to someone who could fix me." Her face scrunched up, "I don't know why though, I'm not broken."

"Definitely not." Adelaide agreed.

"I don't know how long I'll be there." Louise muttered

Adelaide frowns, "I hope it's not too long."

Louise had agreed.

Louise's mother came to pick her up an hour later, and the duo said their goodbyes.

"Goodbye Heidi!" Louise had said, waving cheerfully, her eyes filled excitement.

_(She never stood a chance.)_

Adelaide waved back as Louise entered the car. After all, this was only temporary. They would see each other again.

_(She never saw her again)_

_(Twelve years from now, Adelaide, now going by the moniker of Killjoy, would investigate what had happened to her oldest friend._

_She would find that scientists from Kingdom had experimented on Louise._

_She would find files detailing the experiments, would see Louise being referred to as_ Subject XR-010 _and would be filled with anger._

 _She would see the words-_ Subject XR-010 was unable to cope with the removal of radianite cells from her body and was terminated. _and weep._

_Killjoy falters, and Adelaide weeps because they never even stood a chance.)_

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

**HANNOVER // GERMANY // 2039**

She was nine years old and her parents were fighting again.

She was used to it by now, them fighting, but this was different, unlike their usual arguments.

Mother wanted her to focus more on her music, playing the piano, while Father wanted her to focus more on inventing machines.

Another fight that had become a full-blown argument.

"Genevieve, listen to me!" Her father had shouted, "I will not have you ruin Adelaide with your selfish delusions!"

Adelaide could hear them shouting outside her closed door, she hugged one of her pillows and pulled the blanket over her head, wishing they would stop.

"Delusions!?" Mother sounded mad, "Are you even hearing yourself Nathaniel?" Her voice seemed louder now, "How dare you call me selfish for caring for my daughter?"

A loud sound echoed, like someone had just punched a wall.

"You call that caring for your daughter?" Father's voice was eerily calm, "You are ruining her potential because of your selfish desires! Why can't you see that?"

Mother scoffs, "Why don't we ask Adelaide if I'm selfish, then?"

"Don't-"

The door to her room opens and Adelaide pushes the blanket away from her.

Her mother kneels down the side of her bed and grips her wrists so tightly that Adelaide squirms from her grip.

She looks at her mother's tear stained voice as the grip in her hands loosens and she hears her mother's desperate voice.

"Your father thinks I'm selfish, kleine prinzessin, Do you think I'm selfish?"

She looks at her father, who's stern expression makes her look away, "Don't answer your mother, Adelaide."

Mother looks back at Father and hisses at him, "Stop manipulating her! See, this is why I need to get away!"

Adelaide feels her heart stop. _Mother was leaving?_

Mother looks back at her and her expression softens, "Don't worry Adelaide, When you're eighteen, you can come live with me, away from your father's poison." She assures.

"You are not taking my daughter away from me!" Father objects.

Mother stands up, letting go of Adelaide's wrist, "She'll be free to decide for herself by the time she's eighteen."

"Well I'm free to decide for her right now!" Father screams.

Mother scoffs, "You are insufferable." She walks past Father, "I hope to never see you again Nathaniel."

Father glares, "Same as you, Genevieve."

Mother looks back at Adelaide and her expression softens, "Goodbye darling, I'll wait for you."

"Goodbye mama." Adelaide says.

Mother looked satisfied for a moment before walking off.

_(A week after her eighteenth birthday, Adelaide seeks her mother out._

_She uses Valorant's resources to find her but ignores the offers from the other agents to help her look._

_Cypher looks at her with saddened eyes that she can never understand, It is like he knows something that she did not._

_Adelaide finds her mother living her perfect life, with a docile rich husband and a daughter that plays the piano._

__"You did well, Adelaide!" _She hears her mother say and her heart feels like it's been crushed._

_Her mother replaced her._

_She feels as if all the_ joy _inside her veins had been_ kill _ed._

_When she got back to Valorant Headquarters, no one questions her when she picks Killjoy as her new codename._

_Cypher looks at her with pity in his eyes and she knows that he knows why.)_

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

**HANNOVER // GERMANY // 2042**

She was twelve years old and her father was sending her away.

She didn't know why. Had she not been the perfect daughter? After all, she didn't go with Mother. Was it because of her arguments with father's new wench that he calls a wife? Is that why he was sending her away?

 _It must be his new wife's idea._ Adelaide decided, glaring at the woman standing beside her father. She was the reason that father was sending her away.

"This will be a good experience for you Adelaide," Father says, "Kingdom has graciously offered to give you an internship, and who knows? Maybe when you're older, you can rise to heights within the company."

Adelaide huffs, like she cared about that. "Why are you sending me away? Do you not care about me anymore? You are tearing up an already torn-up family!"

Her father's eyes grew colder and Adelaide stiffened, she probably shouldn't have said that, but alas, her temper got the worst of her.

"Everything I'm doing is for you, you insolent girl!" Father shouted, "For this torn-up family your mother ruined!" He took a deep breath, "And now I see that not only did she ruin this family, but she ruined you as well."

Adelaide winces at her father's words and she wishes that her mother were here instead. Mother would know how to fix this.

"Honey..." Her father's milk and honey whore opened her mouth, "Perhaps if you treat Addie kindly, she'll fix her behavior."

 _Addie!?_ Who did that woman think she was to refer to Adelaide by a mere nickname?

She hears her father sigh, "You're right, darling."

Adelaide looks back at him and finds him kneeling to be at eye level with her.

"Adelaide, you are a brilliant young girl, so you must understand." Father says, "This is an opportunity that we cannot let go of." His voice sounded so desperate that Adelaide is almost reminded of the time his mother left.

She had knelt then too.

Father touches her cheek with the palm of his hand, "Can I trust you to behave when the Kingdom employees get here?" He asks.

Adelaide hesitates, then nods, "Of course Father." She murmurs.

Father smiles, "There's my brilliant little princess." He pats her on the head before standing up again. "The Kingdom employees will be here any second now, Just remember to stay calm and collected, you need to make a good impression."

Act calm and collected... She could do that.

_(She would never realize that she had tried so hard to be what her father and Kingdom wanted and expected her to be that she destroyed who she really was.)_

The door opens and three people waltzed in, two of them looked normal enough, like basic scientists, but the third caught her eye.

He was a male, tall, large, had a beard and wore a distinctive orange hat. Adelaide thought he looked more like a soldier rather than a scientist.

Her father stood up and smiled, "Ah! You must be the employees from Kingdom," He gestures at Adelaide, "This is my daughter, Adelaide."

She smiles at them, "Pleased to meet you."

One of the scientists speaks up, "My name is James, and I'm your supervisor," He then points at the other scientist, "This is Marie, my intern."

Marie the intern smiles and waves at her.

Adelaide waves back.

James points at the other man, "This is Michael, since you're below age eighteen, Kingdom has assigned Michael here to be your guardian."

She glances at Michael, who smiles at her.

Marie cheerfully says, "Why don't you and Mike bond while we go talk to your parents?"

Adelaide was supposed to correct her, after all, her father's wife was not her mother nor would she want her to be her mother. But before she could, they were already gone.

So she was left with Michael. _Great._

"Do I have to call you Michael?" She asks him.

He kneels down to be at eye level with her, "Well, some of my soldiers nicknamed me Brimstone, so you could call me that."

"Soldiers?" She tilted her head, so she was right about assuming he was a soldier!

Michael- no, Brimstone, nods. "Yeah kid, I used to be a sergeant before working for Kingdom."

"What was that like?" Adelaide asked.

Brimstone laughed, "Why don't I tell you some other time, kid."

She pursed her lips, she wanted to know now, but before she could insist, a voice interrupted her.

"See Adelaide, I told you you'd come to like it."

Father.

She turns around to see him give her a watery smile.

Was this it? Was she about to leave her home and never know when she would be able to come back?

"Father-"

"Auf wiederhesen, meine kleine prinzessin." He says, turning his back on her.

Adelaide fights the urge to weep, yet when Brimstone lays a hand on her shoulder, she immediately breaks, burying her tear stained face into his chest.

She spends the plane ride to America on the verge of crying once more and Brimstone pretends not to notice. She is grateful.

_(It is in her fourteenth birthday when she gets permission to return to her father._

_She comes home and finds her home, her palace, ruined._

_She finds her father dead, and is told that his body has been in the grave for a year already._

_Had she been the old Adelaide, she would have seethed, lost her temper, but all she feels is numb._

_Her life was like a metaphor, like the stories about the old kings and queens her mother used to tell her about._

_The Queen has fled, the King is dead, and the Princess is all alone, her Kingdom taken over by outsiders.)_

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

**SHIBUYA CITY // TOKYO // JAPAN // 2043**

She was thirteen and everything had changed.

It had been one year since she started working for Kingdom, and she had spent year travelling about in different locations around the world.

Now, she was stationed in Japan, though, instead of installing inventions in local cities, she was tasked with creating inventions.

Making a new invention was easy, she had done it countless of times before, But making an invention capable of collecting raw radianite was more difficult than she anticipated.

She groans, because for the first time in her life, she was stumped.

"Having trouble?"

She looks towards the opened door and smiles, "Kei!"

The person standing at the door was Kei, a Japanese engineer who lived nearby, he was five years older than her and was almost like an older brother.

Kei smiles, "I heard about the assignment Kingdom gave you."

She frowns, "I can't really think of anything. I mean, collecting radianite? Might as well just make a huge radianite-magnet." She jokes.

He pursed his lips, "Well, I know you'll think of something, you _are_ the brightest engineer that Kingdom has."

She laughs, "Thanks, Kei."

For three days, that was all that happened, she and Kei would brainstorm for the idea that would please Kingdom.

On the fourth, She thought of something.

"What about a spike?" She asked.

Kei tilts his head, "A spike?"

"Yeah!" Adelaide said, "A spike. Kind of like a bomb, but when it explodes, instead of damaging buildings or hurting people, it only gathers radianite."

Kei shrugs, "That's certainly unique, Let's give it a try."

Adelaide smiles and start making blueprints for the spike.

The second copy of the blueprints was given to Kei.

"Why are you giving it to me?" He asked.

She shrugs, "I might lose my copy of the blueprint."

He accepts it and keeps it in his office.

_(She had all but forgotten about the second copy of blueprints when she defected from Kingdom._

_That was her mistake.)_

Two days later, She would present the idea of the spike to the Kingdom Executives and would be granted approval of it.

_(It wasn't until two years later that she finds a major flaw in her design- that the blast required to take the radianite may not destroy buildings, but it harmed humans, killing them almost instantly._

_She wonders how many people her inventions had killed.)_

They start building the spike and managed to complete it in under three months. It was quick, considering the fact that the technology needed for the spike was more advanced than any other they had produced and that it was the first time they had ever built it.

It had taken almost three months to build it, but now, all that was left to do is to test it.

Kei had volunteered to test it alongside other engineers and a supervisor.

"Goodbye Adelaide," Kei says, as they would be testing it far away, "When we get back, you'll know that your invention was a success!"

_(Had she known...)_

She beams at him, "Of course!"

Adelaide had been sent to work on the defuser while testing, but she sorely wanted to be there when it was testing.

The old Adelaide would have been furious at not being involved in the testing, but the new Adelaide was calm, was as cool as a cucumber, and was not.

She was just adding the finishing touches on the defuser when one of the engineers told her that her invention- the spike, was a success.

She should have been suspicious that it wasn't Kei who told her that.

_(He was dead.)_

After all, why wouldn't he be the one to tell her?

_(She had killed him.)_

But she brushed it off then, assuming he was busy.

_(His blood is on her hands, amongst countless others.)_

She continues working.

_(How long did it take her to realize that she had killed him? Had killed countless people?_

_Far too long._

_She finds out two years later._

_Her hands shake as she stares at her blueprints in horror._

_Why had Kingdom not told her that her invention was capable of taking lives?_

_Perhaps it was their intention then, to leave her in the dark and have her invention kill people._

_Thank god that the spike hadn't been mass produced then and only had five copies._

_She destroys four of them and takes the original spike and defuser, alongside the blueprints and she runs._

_She forgets about the second copy of the blueprints._

_She fails. Again.)_

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

**RABAT // MOROCCO // 2044**

She was fourteen and she realizes that the world isn't fair.

She and a few other engineers and scientists had been sent to Morocco to install some sort of defense matrix in the town, yet due to the people rioting, they were unable to.

"Why are they so angry?" Adelaide muttered to herself, "It's not like we're doing anything wrong, are we?"

She didn't expect a reply from anyone, so she was surprised to hear a feminine voice answer from behind her.

"Maybe they just really don't like Kingdom."

Adelaide turns around and raises an eyebrow at a dark haired woman, five years older than she.

"What?" Zia asks, a smile on her face, "It's true!"

Adelaide rolls her eyes, "People never rioted this bad though," She points out, "We were unwelcome at Venice then too, but we were still able to install our matrix there."

Zia hums, "That _is_ true."

Adelaide was about to say something else when she was interrupted by a loud bang, followed by the renewed shouting of the rioters.

"We need to get out of here!" An engineer shouts, as the shouts grew louder.

One of the scientists pointed towards the plane, "There!" He grabs his gear, "Head to the plane!" He orders, and everyone scatters as they try to get everything as possible before heading off.

She and Zia are the last to go, and Zia was probably half-dragging her out of there and Adelaide almost collides into Zia when she stopped walking.

"Why are we stopping?" Adelaide asked, as Zia let go of her hand and pushed her lightly towards the plane.

"Oh, I forgot something on site," Zia says, "I'll just get it and be quick."

Adelaide furrowed her eyebrows, "But Z-"

"Bye Del! Just, get on the plane!"

She huffs, but does what Zia wanted her to do and sprints towards the direction of their plane, ready to get them off of Morocco.

A few minutes after she boards the plane, It gets ready to take off and she assumes that it is because Zia had finally boarded the plane.

_(It wasn't)_

She drifts off to sleep, leaving behind the nightmare that is Morocco behind her.

She is never going back there again.

_(But she does come back, but everything had changed by then, She is Killjoy, not Adelaide, She works for Valorant, not Kingdom, and the place is referred to as Bind, not Rabat.)_

It is when the plane lands that she realizes that Zia is not there, that she is nowhere to be found.

"Where's Zia?" She asks one of the engineers, who only looks at her with confusion.

"Wasn't she with you?"

Her look of horror answers the question.

_(She never figured out what happened to Zia, but after that, Morocco became a terrible place to her._

_As a Valorant agent, she sometimes went on missions to Rabat, Morocco, better known as Bind, and every now and then, she would complain-_

"If this town had let me install my defense matrix, we _wouldn't_ have to be here. Ugh, oh well, I'll clean this up _myself_."

_Cypher wouldn't look too happy whenever she said that, but she couldn't be bothered with it. After all, it was true._

_It. Was. True.)_

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

**BERLIN // GERMANY // 2045**

She was fifteen and the world had just crashed unto her feet unceremoniously.

It had started out as a normal day, as any other day would,

She had been stationed in Berlin for a few months now and had started her own routine.

Get coffee in the morning, hang out with Brimstone in the afternoon, and then go to her personal lab to start working on her inventions.

Currently, she was hanging out with Brimstone in the Oberbaum Bridge, with the Fernsehturm Berliner in the background.

"So, what is it that you wanted to tell me, Brim?" She asked her official guardian, looking up at him.

Brimstone looks away, "Kid, you know, It's been great having you around."

Adelaide narrows her eyes at him, "You sound like you're dying. What are you saying?"

Brimstone falls silent for a moment but It's fine, Adelaide can wait.

"I'm leaving Kingdom."

Adelaide feels her heart _stop_ , He's leaving her. Of course he is, everyone _always_ leaves her or she leaves them but everyone always leaves and _why_? Why do they keep leaving? Isn't she _enough_? So why-

"Kid breathe!" She hears Brimstone say, his voice louder than usual.

Adelaide closes her eyes and starts taking deep breaths.

Brimstone's hands are firmly in her shoulder, and he waits.

" _Why_ are you leaving?" She asks after a moment.

Without a beat, he answers, "Because I can't stand being in the sidelines anymore, Kingdom, frankly, is in the wrong here."

Kingdom is practically all she's ever known.

Adelaide takes a deep breath, "So what are you going to do?"

Brimstone takes his hands off of her shoulders and leans against the railing, "I don't know kid, probably start my own team to go againts Kingdom."

She doesn't know what to say. Go against Kingdom? Go against _her_?

 _Can I join?_ No. She can't say that, not when she doesn't share his opinion about Kingdom- _her_ , being wrong.

_(A few months from now, she would look back at this memory and wished that she had asked that question.)_

Brimstone looks at her and sighs, "I may be leaving Kingdom, but I would still be your legal guardian, kid." He reassures, "I'd still be there for you."

 _Will you?_ She wants to ask, _Will you really be there for me?_

She only murmurs an "Okay."

Brimstone ruffles her hair and smiles, "I gotta go kid, see you later?"

Adelaide gives him a small _(weary)_ smile, "See you later, Brim."

She watches him walk away for a moment, willing herself not to follow him.

As he disappears into the crowd of people, Adelaide walks back to into her personal lab, and as soon as the door is closed and she is all alone, she falls apart and cries because someone left her _again_.

Why?

_(Months later, She stands in front of Brimstone's home and looks at him with bleary eyes._

_She must be a sight to look at, She realizes, holding some invention-_ the spike and defuser, _that he has never seen before and blueprints._

_Before Brimstone could say something, Adelaide speaks up._

__"I want to join your team." _)_

**Author's Note:**

> wooh! this is finally done.
> 
> yes, this is killjoy's backstory in my you? outrun me? universe and yes, i wrote this before the first (technically second) chapter of aw, sorry. im shameless like that.
> 
> i wrote killjoy's backstory first because hers was the easiest for me to think about and no, i wont just be doing oneshots about character backstories, im also going to be adding oneshots about how i see things, i might do one about how i think radiants came to be, or about the rifts, who knows?
> 
> if you guys have any questions or suggestions btw, just comment.
> 
> ill be addressing this as well when i finally upload the next chapter of aw, sorry but it recently came to light that skye is not agent 8 but agent 14.
> 
> d a m m i t.
> 
> now, i cant erase skye because if i did, there would be no agent 8, but i am going to be lessening her involvement so that i can easily replace agent 8 when we finally get him/her and then ill add skye back as agent 14.
> 
> thats all and thanks for reading  
> -karina


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